put downs

[betchrider]

I think thats my longest ever post and i never earned any points for it

[trayhop123]

can i borrow the blueprints to your brain, i want to build a tosser.

your momma so fat, she got a season ticket for mcdonalds.

[Northern Monkey]

think some of these come from the world of cricket sledging. BElieve the biscuit one came up in an Ashes test in the 80s and also a member of the Aussie crowd came out with "Oy Tufnell lend us yer brain, we're building an idiot"

[harry2]

The 10 best Cricket Sledges (and comebacks) in history

10. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham - When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

9. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne - As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

8. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes - During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary - "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

7. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad - During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards - During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off."

5. Glenn McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan - "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath lost it: "If you ever mention my wife again, I'll F***ing rip your F***ing throat out."

4. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

3. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock - After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground. Ponting to Pollock: "You know what it looks like, now go find it."

2. Fred Trueman - While bowling the batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother," he replied.

1. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment that was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

[aaamusements.co.uk]

My Grandfather, when he was driving and halted by a large pedestrian in the road, would wind down his window and say "Get out the way! I don't have enough petrol to drive around you!"

[MrRed]

Not really a put down as such but a mate of mine always says this to people

If you went camping and fell asleep, then woke up with grass staines on your knees, and a jonny hanging from your anus
Would you tell anyone??
Response would be 'No'

Ok 'do you wanna go camping'???

[ma71lda]

Same as '.........if you woke up a sore bum and and 50p in your hand, would you tell anyone?'

Well, would you?

[harry2]

The old schoolkid question, "Have you ever been caught bumming?"

"No. Of course not"


"Bummer on the loose"