put downs

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:31 am

Anyone got any witty put downs, you know the sort... (not directed at anybody)

your mums so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang.

your mums so fat when she sits down she sits next to everybody.

or my favourite, your breaths that bad we look forward to your farts

we basically take the piss out of each other all weekend and have a laugh, so i'm after some good new ones.

petera · Post by **petera** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:46 am

This should do you ........

http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:49 am

nice link, i'll have a good look tonight

petera · Post by **petera** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 10:18 am

Oh.....
This one was used by Rex on big brother a fair bit and rather amused me .....

"I'd swap you for scrabble"

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 10:27 am

Heard a landlord throw an underage drinker out of a pub, ironically trying to play a fruit machine and said "Come back when you've grown some pubes ". It wasn't particularly funny but the whole pub burst out laughing. You would have to be there, really.

gambogaz1 · Post by **gambogaz1** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:39 pm

When I was 17 A bouncer to a night club said to me
"Forget it mate, You don't look old enough to deliver my paper"

ops:

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:28 pm

Pissed as a rat trying to get into a nightclub with a raincoat on the bouncer said "You ain't coming in like that, Colombo !!!"

Martal~Wombat · Post by **Martal~Wombat** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:01 pm

If you put your brain in a hazelnut shell, it would still rattle

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:12 pm

if brains were chocolate you could'nt fill a smartie.

if brains were dynamite you could'nt blow your nose.

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:15 pm

you were so ugly as a child your mother used to feed you with a catapult.

Drpepper · Post by **Drpepper** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:07 pm

your mum sucks cock for bus fare then walks home

petera · Post by **petera** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:04 pm

You look like redgamer........

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:05 pm

Oooooooooh, i can see this being locked shortly :P

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:07 pm

Drpepper wrote:your mum sucks cock for bus fare then walks home

Come on Dr P you can do better than that.

betchrider · Post by **betchrider** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:21 pm

When a comedian picks on you when you go for a piss just say"im off for a piss before comedian comes on"Or to a baldy"you spent an hour an a half doin your hair and came out without the fucker!".Or if your on the larger side(as i am)when 1 of your mates calls you fatty or summat just say"its cos everytime i fuck your mum/sister she gives me biscuit"or "i can lose this you'll always be fuckin ugly"