Fruit Machine Chat

Right.. This is the first stop ive made in 5 days from net absence.. Read Matt . v's post about a blog...

Was sceptical about it at first as I couldn't see the point, show my self up, for what?...

Then I kinda realised, if any one here with an addiction can relate to what I post.. Then I may/my memo's might help, let you understand what its like to be addicted to something, be it booze, fruits,drugs ect......


I'm an alcholic..... and am on the long.. hard, self previvation road to recovery..


I will endevour to tell the truth here.. as lieing has no real benifits, and defetes the whole point of this blog....



To date, as from Saturday , 3.10 am, till 5.17 tonight.. I have consumed 1 bottle of Bullmers pair cider, which I have saved and have on top of my pc tower right now as a reminder.........


Booze is like crack... abuse it and you become dependent, your body cant function with out it...


Last 4 days.. Iv'e been a complete tyrant to live with... even my kids walk away from me.. I wake up in cold sweats, go to the fridge, to see fresh orange ...... Its so hard... so fuckin hard.... even now , while posting I'm scratching around to try and find enough pennies to sneek down and buy a bottle.....

I know it will get better.. guess i'm having my own re enactment of train spotting.. but with booze.......

This is the only site i'm posting on now.. and will be a kinda speradic thing till i fight the demonds and settle down to " normality ".. what ever that is...


So.. my blog.. comment... dont... just read and be warned... all fun when your young..... just dont end up in my shoes.. what ever addiction you may take in form..!!!

Let me be the first to wish you luck mate

Good on you for facing up to it.
I have known a fair number of alcoholics, particularly (and unsurprisingly) in the pub trade, and indeed I still do. It's a very nasty illness. There are organisations out there that can help, though.

Best of luck.

good luck matt, i can appreciate that this won't be easy for you but i'm sure you can be strong enough to get through it ,not just for your kids and partner but for yourself too.

Once managed to avoid gambling for a whole month. Soon lapsed. Good luck.

Nice one..good luck .

Had a real hard day.. sorting out sponsers for my last site ect.. no excuse I know........

Gave in and sunk 6 liters of bullmers while working on the site still got / ave 21 bottles left ffs... Cant understand it.. is it the pc that makes me drink.. or the fact I'm SO weak I just think fuck it...


Long as I wake up tomorrow who cares.... Not you lot right....


I cant do this guys...... It will be the end of me.....I'm sorry

Just gunna post as normal now....Sorry if tou felt I've not tried/let you down..

Well I too was going to wish you luck until I read the last post. I suppose it’s easy to comment when not experiencing the pain, but don't be so defeatist, dust yourself off and try again.

Rome wasn't built in a day...

My own doing tbh.. internet leads to drink.. drink leads to bordom.. bordom leads to drink...

I build/create/hack.. it's what I do...just cant do it with out a drink for some reason...


I have built 1 last site... kinda a good buy from me... will support the family till I sort my self out......


This has to be my last post here tbh.. I cant carry on like this..


Oncemy new site is up i'll link you all, and that will be me done.....


Before it's too late and I end up as you all whisper about

jpfuk wrote:Had a real hard day.. sorting out sponsers for my last site ect.. no excuse I know........

Gave in and sunk 6 liters of bullmers while working on the site still got / ave 21 bottles left ffs... Cant understand it.. is it the pc that makes me drink.. or the fact I'm SO weak I just think fuck it...


Long as I wake up tomorrow who cares.... Not you lot right....


I cant do this guys...... It will be the end of me.....I'm sorry

Just gunna post as normal now....Sorry if tou felt I've not tried/let you down..

Perhaps u need a bit of extra help, like going to a local aa meeting, there would be people there, who have experienced exactly what u are going through..give it a try, they helped a friend of mine, and he was in really bad....

Good luck, ur'e doing well.

your on the wrong board.

You are weak.

HorseRacingKing wrote:You are weak.

The resident bawbag has spoken

shadmun wrote:

HorseRacingKing wrote:You are weak.

The resident bawbag has spoken

I dont speak scouse, type that in english please

Means your a coot.