Fruit Machine Chat

Dont Ever..EVER attempt to dry shave.... It will only result in certain death..!!!

Convo between me and Mrs I have a lighter but no flint Davidson

" Julie, while ure out pick up a refill for my gillette fusion and some gel " " sure, no worries Babe, gillette and gel yeah, "Yes, fusion and make sure u get gel"...




Comes home with FUCKING BIC TWIN 6 PACK... £1.98, and a pot of 79p hair gel !!!!!!!!!


Yeah... Gillette/BIC.. easly confused by name ffs...

Any way... broke said razors out of wrapper, just looking at the " twin blade " scared me....



Had no choice but to start dry shaving..... SCRAAAAAPE..... RIIPPPPPPP.....

Well.. currently sat here now with half a Hitler tash and nursing a mild beheading by the great BIC in the sky......


Fucking things.......... fuckin fuckin things.........should have just used a chain saw.........



Any one wanna buy a 27 year old woman.. slightly worn, has ermm a couple kids and cant boil a fucking egg.....



eex I need a holiday
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Not sure if I should laugh or show some sympathy...
I'll go with the sympathy option, as it does suck when simple shit gets done wrong. lol

To be fair to disposable razors i prefer them over the top brands.

Dry shave though OUCH!

At work one day, I'd noticed I'd managed to only shave half my face (no-one had thought to tell me). So I did what any sensible person would do and rushed round to the local bargain shop to pick up some cheap razors to tidy it up.

Being a tight arse, I went for the cheapest nastiest bics. However, instead of waiting till I got back to work and using some warm water and soap, I decided to shave whilst running along the street. Not surprisingly, I ripped my face to ribbons and had to go and face my sniggering colleagues with blood pissing out at least 3 different places on my face.

I tried to pass it off as a nosebleed but I don't think anyone was in any doubt what really happened.

jpfuk m8 ,,,,,,,,,, could i interest you in a possible part exchange , with a 1969 slim bleached blonde , still in fair condition , designer clothed exterior fake orange tanned paintwork, doesn't cook , or do any housework , and only let's you service her engine about once a fortnight, ??????? :P

If its your old Rover Metro.. forget it... If its ure other half, I must also push for the complete Quinten Tarenteno box set... Seeing as i'm getting 1 body, ure gunna have 7 in exchange lol.....



ERK...... lol

hmm ,,,,,, will have to re-negotiate ,,,,,,,,,,,,, mine costs very little to feed , lol

Hey.. thats taken care of.. a blue cross chopper will dump a food package crate every 2 weeks... might have to walk a couple miles to pick it up depending on wind ect lol....