Fruit Machine Chat

What would you stick in Room 101?

Out of the 300 things that rile me daily, the first ones would be:

1, Crisps

These because I've been using the trains for main transport the past fortnight as my mate's got my car, and everytime I sit down at a table, I always get some other passengers deciding to sit opposite with a bag of sodding crisps. RUSTLE! RUSTLE! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!

And it's always the Big-Eat Fat-Cunt packets just so they'll last longer and annoy me the whole journey.

It's even worse if it's a family cos then the mum will give their fourteen kids a bag each "to keep them quiet". Except it doesn't make them quiet does it? Anyway, why is it always Quavers they're given? Just for that extra noise and then there's the smell . . . . God they stink like dirty, rotten, filthy feet, yet these people want to eat them!

2, The word "Welcome"

What's the point of this word?

No-one who uses this word actually means it. Take for example a ferry, ie: Stenaline.

Captain: "Good morning ladies & gentlemen, on behalf of Stenaline and it's crew, we'd just like to welcome you onboard the Stena. . . . . whatever it's called", so you go to get yourself a breakfast and baulk at the asking price of £12.85. And this is a welcome?

If they really, really wanted to welcome you, they'd say something like: "Hello mate! Here, get yourself a drink, Have the breakfast on us", but no.

3, Sorry

Waiting on the 22:37 service from London Cannon St to Ramsgate that has stopped mid-station just before Sevenoaks due to some pathetic reason like "the wrong type of rain" or "the driver's got scabs" then to be told that they "apologise for the delay & for any inconvenience caused" . . . .

Now if they were truly sorry, they'd pay for you to get a taxi to your destination wouldn't they?

So, what would you put in Room 101?

this is a good one "MR" bgm,i hate it when the maccy dees operative asks you if you want fries with that when you've already specified that you only want a burger.
also the petrol station kiddo who asks you what pump your'e on when you are the only bugger on the forecourt and there's only one transaction on his screen, what a fraggle.

4, Pressure Selling

Get to Euston on tuesday, pop into WHSmiths for a couple of papers for the journey, and get to the counter for the inevitable question: "Would you like a bag of Haribo for £3.99 with your paper?"

No! Did I ask for them? Right then! You can sod off! Especially when they're only 59p in Tescos.

what annoys me: the england and wales cricket team playing try to make a quick buck. and losing embarrasingly.
And when an edit comes up 'edited 2 times'. It is not two times; It is TWICE! and i never liked Anne Lee's recrd for the same reason!

People who treat speed bumps like the north face of the Eiger.

FNC in a station 160 to go red and having to run over the other side only to find all the noteys off!

5, Shadows

And I don't mean the backing group to Cliff "Sodding" Richard.

I mean the one that always seems to sweep across your machine when you have a skill you're just about to hit.

Most annoying thing about this shadow is where did it come from? There's no-one there around.

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! wrote:4, Pressure Selling

Get to Euston on tuesday, pop into WHSmiths for a couple of papers for the journey, and get to the counter for the inevitable question: "Would you like a bag of Haribo for £3.99 with your paper?"

No! Did I ask for them? Right then! You can sod off! Especially when they're only 59p in Tescos.

I sometimes buy a small packet of wine gums in my local WHSmith, and they always suggest I buy the large bag because it's only a quid or something like that. If I want the big bag I will buy the big bag. It's only a small packet I want, which is why I choose the small packet.. logic!

On the subject of pressure selling, when you're buying an expensive piece of electrical equipment and they hit you with the "would you like to fork out another 100 or so notes to buy an additional 2 year guarantee?".

"Why? Is it likely to break down in that time period?"

"Er.... no."

"So why would I pay an extra 100 quid?"

"Er. Just in case it does."

"Surely it can't be that reliable if you need to charge 100 quid for an additional 2 year guarantee?"

"It is reliable".

"So why are you trying to extort more money out of me if it's not likely to break down? Have I not given your company enough money already?"

"It gives you extra piece of mind."

"My arse."

Still, it all ended well. I threatened to change my mind about buying the telly and all of a sudden I got the extra guarantee gratis

Mobile phones with cameras. Ten years ago nobody was interested in photography. If you are really care about taking pictures buy a bloody decent camera. Don't get me started about mobiles that play music and you have to listen to some scrotes drum and bass crap or home made chav rap. You want to use their phone as a suppository (copyright Dirty Harry Callaghan)

Totally agree with that one.
Music at one time had bass, unfortunately a tiny tinny phone doesn't allow it to be heard.
Rather no music than shit music...

Smokers who stand in the doorway and even though they see you approaching still refuse to move, so you have to ask and they look at you like your in there way, and giving me a blast of second hand smoke on the way in :x

Extreme Eddie wrote:Smokers who stand in the doorway and even though they see you approaching still refuse to move, so you have to ask and they look at you like your in there way, and giving me a blast of second hand smoke on the way in :x

Just smokers who stand in the doorway full stop; so that every time the door opens (if it's automatic then that will happen every time you lift your cigarette to your mouth or shift your weight from one foot to the other) we can get a good lung full of smoke ourselves.

Yes, we all know how hard done by you social pariahs are these days, but it is your choice to smoke, just as it was my choice to stop.
:x

Seeing the door being locked and the curtains drawn so you know your in for a lock in , then seeing the gaffer putting all the ashtrays out :x .

What would I put in room 101 ?
ME !!!!!
I can be a right pain in the ass !!