wank
Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:20 am
Hi my name is John,Hi anyway i would like to tell you all about the dangers of alchahol and binge drinking.
1.The kebab shop pull,this is after closing time you couldnt pull in the club ,bt your stood in the kebab shop afterwards when out the corner of your eye you spot the 18 stone beauty,munching onn a kebab covered in garlic suace.becuase your pissed chatting this thing up seems like a good deal.WRONG.You can never really have sex with a gigantic fat bird unless you have a 14 inch cock,dont get me wrong having sex with leg fat can be quite exciting especially when pissed,but your cock will get blisters
2.Pissing the bed,pretty self explanatory.Now you can never really rid a mattress of piss and secondly the fat bird wont apreciate it
3.The stinging penis, your penis can only take passing so much alchahol and shagging so many fat birds,before it begins to sting for days on end,im also told if this carrys on for more then a few days you will end up pissing blood and no fat birds do not apreciate this ether
4.The lost shag,Imagine youve just pulled a really nice looking girl at the bar with the line ( if i give you my money will you buy my drinks for me , they always serve the pretty girls first)( girls like this line becuase its not really a line , its true but is a very good way to pull) anyway i digress, youve just pulled this really good looking girl,she is sensible , she knows if she drinks to much you will probably rape her, so to everyone of her 1 drinks youve downed 5, becuase your a cock,this leads to the inevitable slurred words of ' i love you , your going to have my babies' followed by the do you like it in the bum question,so now not only is she suspicious of rape she is now suspicious of bum rape this followed by you puking on her shoes ,leads to her going to the toilet never to come back .this leads you to the kebab shop ( see number 1 )
5. The picture,your at a party and after a good few you decide to sneak off to someones bedroom for a sneaky wank,you fall asleep with your cock in your hand,where after a little while someone finds you.they then procede to write im dreaming of being gay on your chest and draw little cocks and balls all over your face , before removing your eyebrows with a mach 3.This picture inevitibly ends up on someones facebook page,where everyone across the world can now revere in your shame
6.the internet confession,youve come home grabbed a couple of beers and are now sitting on the internet looking for someone to talk to,as its now 4 in the morning there is no one, so you end up on this gumtress page confessing,how your afraid you may be gay as this one time you masurbated over a porno where the girl really wasnt a girl, she was a guy but you carried on wanking anyway .so youve just left a confession where youve confessed to watching a shemale take one in the backside all while crying like a little girl
7.inhibitions,as we all know drinking makes you lower your guard , so when the fat bird says do you fancy trying something a little diffrent,you say yes this will end up with you being tied up and fucked in the arse with a black rubber penis and see number 6
8.urinating , this is dangerous in todays world , you have the simple dangers like fines ,but there are also unseen dangers when your drunk, like when you piss on what is in fact a tramps house, you dont know its someones house you think its just a pile of shit by a bin, this nearly always ends in 2 ways 1. a black eye 2. being robbed then given a black eye.also pissing in bushes , not all bushes are friendly we have holly bushes this can lead to a torn forskin we also have stinging nettles, now being stung under your forskin may seem like a good time, but its not
9.friends,when drunk it can also give you an insight into your friends and how much you really hate them,this is a downward spirral from here ,fingering his girlfriend and taking a shit in his kettle is not a good way to end a friendship,it also leads to follow up attacks, like him fucking your mum and spray painting the word cunt on your car,this also leads to being pulled over by the police every 10 minutes
10.accidental email, your home and drunk and you think hey that girl ive been speaking to on the internet deserves to see a half naked picture of me,but being drunk you accidently click the wrong email address and send it to your friend,he now thinks your gay and you were trying it on with him and is no longer your friend and keeps telling everyone your gay
1.The kebab shop pull,this is after closing time you couldnt pull in the club ,bt your stood in the kebab shop afterwards when out the corner of your eye you spot the 18 stone beauty,munching onn a kebab covered in garlic suace.becuase your pissed chatting this thing up seems like a good deal.WRONG.You can never really have sex with a gigantic fat bird unless you have a 14 inch cock,dont get me wrong having sex with leg fat can be quite exciting especially when pissed,but your cock will get blisters
2.Pissing the bed,pretty self explanatory.Now you can never really rid a mattress of piss and secondly the fat bird wont apreciate it
3.The stinging penis, your penis can only take passing so much alchahol and shagging so many fat birds,before it begins to sting for days on end,im also told if this carrys on for more then a few days you will end up pissing blood and no fat birds do not apreciate this ether
4.The lost shag,Imagine youve just pulled a really nice looking girl at the bar with the line ( if i give you my money will you buy my drinks for me , they always serve the pretty girls first)( girls like this line becuase its not really a line , its true but is a very good way to pull) anyway i digress, youve just pulled this really good looking girl,she is sensible , she knows if she drinks to much you will probably rape her, so to everyone of her 1 drinks youve downed 5, becuase your a cock,this leads to the inevitable slurred words of ' i love you , your going to have my babies' followed by the do you like it in the bum question,so now not only is she suspicious of rape she is now suspicious of bum rape this followed by you puking on her shoes ,leads to her going to the toilet never to come back .this leads you to the kebab shop ( see number 1 )
5. The picture,your at a party and after a good few you decide to sneak off to someones bedroom for a sneaky wank,you fall asleep with your cock in your hand,where after a little while someone finds you.they then procede to write im dreaming of being gay on your chest and draw little cocks and balls all over your face , before removing your eyebrows with a mach 3.This picture inevitibly ends up on someones facebook page,where everyone across the world can now revere in your shame
6.the internet confession,youve come home grabbed a couple of beers and are now sitting on the internet looking for someone to talk to,as its now 4 in the morning there is no one, so you end up on this gumtress page confessing,how your afraid you may be gay as this one time you masurbated over a porno where the girl really wasnt a girl, she was a guy but you carried on wanking anyway .so youve just left a confession where youve confessed to watching a shemale take one in the backside all while crying like a little girl
7.inhibitions,as we all know drinking makes you lower your guard , so when the fat bird says do you fancy trying something a little diffrent,you say yes this will end up with you being tied up and fucked in the arse with a black rubber penis and see number 6
8.urinating , this is dangerous in todays world , you have the simple dangers like fines ,but there are also unseen dangers when your drunk, like when you piss on what is in fact a tramps house, you dont know its someones house you think its just a pile of shit by a bin, this nearly always ends in 2 ways 1. a black eye 2. being robbed then given a black eye.also pissing in bushes , not all bushes are friendly we have holly bushes this can lead to a torn forskin we also have stinging nettles, now being stung under your forskin may seem like a good time, but its not
9.friends,when drunk it can also give you an insight into your friends and how much you really hate them,this is a downward spirral from here ,fingering his girlfriend and taking a shit in his kettle is not a good way to end a friendship,it also leads to follow up attacks, like him fucking your mum and spray painting the word cunt on your car,this also leads to being pulled over by the police every 10 minutes
10.accidental email, your home and drunk and you think hey that girl ive been speaking to on the internet deserves to see a half naked picture of me,but being drunk you accidently click the wrong email address and send it to your friend,he now thinks your gay and you were trying it on with him and is no longer your friend and keeps telling everyone your gay
