Fruit Machine Chat

Anyone got any witty put downs, you know the sort... (not directed at anybody)


your mums so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang.


your mums so fat when she sits down she sits next to everybody.


or my favourite, your breaths that bad we look forward to your farts


we basically take the piss out of each other all weekend and have a laugh, so i'm after some good new ones.

This should do you ........

http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html

nice link, i'll have a good look tonight

Oh.....
This one was used by Rex on big brother a fair bit and rather amused me .....


"I'd swap you for scrabble"

Heard a landlord throw an underage drinker out of a pub, ironically trying to play a fruit machine and said "Come back when you've grown some pubes ". It wasn't particularly funny but the whole pub burst out laughing. You would have to be there, really.

When I was 17 A bouncer to a night club said to me
"Forget it mate, You don't look old enough to deliver my paper" ops:

Pissed as a rat trying to get into a nightclub with a raincoat on the bouncer said "You ain't coming in like that, Colombo !!!"

If you put your brain in a hazelnut shell, it would still rattle

if brains were chocolate you could'nt fill a smartie.


if brains were dynamite you could'nt blow your nose.

you were so ugly as a child your mother used to feed you with a catapult.

your mum sucks cock for bus fare then walks home

You look like redgamer........

Oooooooooh, i can see this being locked shortly :P

Drpepper wrote:your mum sucks cock for bus fare then walks home

Come on Dr P you can do better than that.

When a comedian picks on you when you go for a piss just say"im off for a piss before comedian comes on"Or to a baldy"you spent an hour an a half doin your hair and came out without the fucker!".Or if your on the larger side(as i am)when 1 of your mates calls you fatty or summat just say"its cos everytime i fuck your mum/sister she gives me biscuit"or "i can lose this you'll always be fuckin ugly"