Fruit Machine Chat

put my 56plate 107 in the paper from tomoz for 6days snif

fantastic car , only done 24k in it

y i hear you say

well some of you know ive recently moved into a flat which is surrounded by fast food outlets , which is fine during the day, but at night the hoodies come out to play , usualy around 12 of em , aged around 15 etc , drinking alcopops etc , and i just know my cars gonna get done ,

everytime i hear a slight bang or a hoodie shout , im up at the window

i know thats what your insurance is for , but ive already made one prang claim on it and i dont want my premium shooting through the roof .

there are no garages for rent near me either

the thing is i could just go out and smack the biggest one and the rest would run off but there would be reprocusions ,
ide walk out next morning to a wreck

tracy my wife shouted at one the other night that rested his beer can on the top of it , ,,,, he took it and walked , but i consider that lucky

at least if i have a banger out there only say up to a grand in value , im not gonna be too woried if it gets a dent or two , and i certanly wouldnt bother making a claim if it did

you shouldnt have to live like this in this country but thats the way of the world , no respect hoodie culture , pisses me off ., but what can you truly do ???????

Don't blame you really mate, when I visited I thought it was a bit too nice and shiny to be left outside of a fast food restaurant overnight!

It would make me massively paranoid.

You saw one of my vans, the other is not all that much better, and to be honest I couldn't give a shit if someone decided to carve their initials in the paintwork!

Get something a bit rougher, and worry much less.

You will stand to lose a fair chunk on depreciation though I should think?

That's unfortunately the negative thing about this game. Depreciation of a brand new car can be offset against tax paid. However a full time player would have to suffer that depreciation. For the brave, a car auction may hold a bargain but beware!

I bought a Rover 214 for the girlfriend to practice for her driving test. Going back a few years now. She had failed three times and had an instructor from hell. It was only when I asked her what manouveres she had learned and she replied "Well we stopped off at the newsagents for a bit, went to the laundrette (was it a self service one I wonder?!?) and stopped for a pie" that I realised that this was some shitty sheister. So I said "OK! I shall buy a banger and you may drive it around and kill someone"

"NO! They shouted. You should never teach a girl to drive. You will kill each other, not through a fatal road traffic accident but by strangulation"


So I saw this old Rover in an auction. DOn't buy old Rovers, they're shit, my old man had told me, but it was only £150+fees. Paintwork was immaculate, started up fine. Seemed ok. Hell it was only about six driving lessons for the money. Drove it back from Redditch to HOueventry. There seemed to be a problem with the temperature guage, it was permanently on HOT as in ROASTING F'ING HOT, not just ticking over a bit hot BUT F'ING HOT AS A HOT CAKE DOUSED IN PETROL IN THE SAHARA. THAT HOT.


Look I'm not Clarkson ok? It was only afterwards I was involved in a world of head gaskets, coolant circulation, shitty K series gaskets made of tin foil should only buy the ones with the Honda engines in. For some reason the fan didn't work either. Also no hot air from the blowers and this was in the winter. All something to do with a cracked engine block and blah blah blah something or other.

In the end a mate with some know how rigged a switch up that'd bung the fan on which took the heat off.

You try teaching a learner driver to do a hill start in a car with a blown head gasket at RED HOT.

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <slip down hill, burn out clutch>


I think it is a testament to myself that I stayed calm at all points. Some things I get insanely insane about. Sometimes I can overreact. I had a 13 hour session on the fruits in '07 was a few ton up, got back. She asks for plasters. I BANG around in the kitchen. No plasters. She gets huffy, so do I, so I drove ten miles to get some and stormed back in.

However with teaching people to drive, I think I'm quite relaxed, but bizzarely I'm a bit of a back seat driver, although with her I just keep my mouth shut. She leans forward when she drives which winds me right up. She needs to relax, head on headrest and slow it down a bit. Can't tell them that now can you?

Anyway she passed and the blown head gasket Rover was put back in auction before it seized up completely. Maybe someone would have the time and inclination and money to put a reconditioned engine in, but you're talking £600+ and practically a full days work if you know what you're doing for new cylinder wotsits and the head gasket.

I drove back to Redditch in neutral all the way, so the needle never crept over cool. Hmmmmm.

I know you like shiny new things Lee, but you can't be doing with that hassle, you need to relax at night ready for slotting in the day. So get a bangerier car, but not a Rover 214 with a blown head gasket

Ah Mr. Amusements, just the man, do you rent out machines?

I'm looking to rent a Beat the Banker or my favourite, a Monopoly Hot Property.

JG wrote:Ah Mr. Amusements, just the man, do you rent out machines?

I'm looking to rent a Beat the Banker or my favourite, a Monopoly Hot Property.

I don't unfortunately, I mainly sell spares and repair machines on a fairly small time basis.
Rental can be a fairly expensive business too, are you planning on getting them for "research" purposes rather than to site?

Yes purely for, how shall we say? My own amusement.

I tried a couple of local companies a long time ago, but they weren't interested in renting to private, unlicenced premises.

JG wrote:Yes purely for, how shall we say? My own amusement.

I tried a couple of local companies a long time ago, but they weren't interested in renting to private, unlicenced premises.

That is a problem that you will experience with all the big licensed companies unfortunately.

trayhop123 wrote:put my 56plate 107 in the paper from tomoz for 6days snif

fantastic car , only done 24k in it

y i hear you say

well some of you know ive recently moved into a flat which is surrounded by fast food outlets , which is fine during the day, but at night the hoodies come out to play , usualy around 12 of em , aged around 15 etc , drinking alcopops etc , and i just know my cars gonna get done ,

everytime i hear a slight bang or a hoodie shout , im up at the window

i know thats what your insurance is for , but ive already made one prang claim on it and i dont want my premium shooting through the roof .

there are no garages for rent near me either

the thing is i could just go out and smack the biggest one and the rest would run off but there would be reprocusions ,
ide walk out next morning to a wreck

tracy my wife shouted at one the other night that rested his beer can on the top of it , ,,,, he took it and walked , but i consider that lucky

at least if i have a banger out there only say up to a grand in value , im not gonna be too woried if it gets a dent or two , and i certanly wouldnt bother making a claim if it did

you shouldnt have to live like this in this country but thats the way of the world , no respect hoodie culture , pisses me off ., but what can you truly do ???????

If you have done as well as you claim in another post etc then why are you choosing to live in such a shit area ?
I much prefer to live somewhere nice and drive what I want .

ive sort of sorted half the problem,

bought a banger , to keep outside , just a ten year old rover metro , bag of shit , but its only done 28k in ten years , with one owner ,with all previous mot's , service history etc,
old lady having to give up driving due to ill health , about 70 years old ,
i felt sorry for her , but her husband is stil fit enuf to drive her around in his,

its sort of got that old lady musky smell lol
and wait for it ,,,,,,,,,, its purple lol


just got to put the 107 on ebay now , pm me if anyone intrested,


i know i open myself up to ridicule on this site from time to time. but its a laugh and its refreshing to read stuf thats not fruit related all the time ,

so let the mirth commence

i can see it now ,

purple pussy poof punter etc etc lol :P

I bet it smells of lavender and extra strong mints!

What sort of price you looking for?

My Corsa has annoyed me so much with its cnstant fuckups and breakdowns that i'm now going to spend half of my fruity savings on a new car - approx £2,500 odd. Your car i'm sure is worth a lot more than that on a 57 plate, got my eyes on a Y plate clio with 39k on the clock for £2,400. FSH etc, looks a decent motor.

well it cost 8200, and il post the ebay item num later when tray has done it for me.
but think il start the reserve at 4200 and let em for 7days, or just put buy it now for 4600 ish, im not sure yet ................

item num later

Has it still got that empty bottle of pop under the rear nearside wheel arch?

DAMNIT! Just remembered I left those chilli heatwave Doritos in there. That must boost up the price a bit.

sold it tonight , no need for ebay ,leicester mercury did its job , let it go for 4200, ,,,,,,,,,

now then , time to fumigate the pension mobile

trayhop123 wrote:sold it tonight , no need for ebay ,leicester mercury did its job , let it go for 4200, ,,,,,,,,,

now then , time to fumigate the pension mobile

That was quick!

Is the interior of the Metro still awash with liniment and Werthers Originals?