Fruit Machine Chat

Last night saw the inaugural Fruitchat All-comers "Arrers" Tournament, sponsored by Kronenbourg 1664 and held at the Pretoria Bar in Crieff. The number of participants was slightly disappointing, mainly due to poor advertising and marketing. However, 2 members of this forum, Cardinal Richelieu and Gran did attend the event, and were competing for the richest prize in pub entertainment, the coveted title of "Fruitchat All-comers Arrers Champion".

Before the match, the arrerers had agreed of a £1 bet per game, which added to the frisson of excitement. Both players were on top of the game, and the crowd was well up for it. The crowd consisted of one woman who told us that she used to be a darts champion but had given up because she was now 54. Both players politely failed to mention that she looked about 84. She, in turn, told Gran that he was "shite" at darts, much to the amusement of everyone.

The first leg was a close encounter, with both players throwing some decent arrers. Gran narrowly missed out on a 47-dart finish before finally nailing the double 1 and grabbing the 1st leg, and a £1 of the Cardinal's hard-earned money.

The second leg was an even more exciting affair, with Cardinal Richelieu stamping his authority and hitting a treble 20. At one point he was over 100 points ahead of Gran, but his lack of match practice was telling as he had around 30 attempts at hitting his double, and missing every time. Both players were close to abandoning the whole tournament when the Cardinal finally nailed the double to even the match.

At this point, probably as a result of the alcohol generously provided by Kronenbourg (at a very reasonable £2.50 a pint), they agreed a side-bet of £1 for any player managing to nail 101 in 3 darts. Gran wasn't too keen, but given that neither of the players had ever achieved this heady score, he agreed.

The next two games were tense affairs. Both times the Cardinal hit some big arrows, but failed to capitalise when it came down to the final analysis. He lost both games and the score was 3-1. He also achieved a truly pathetic score of 14 from 9 darts, an average score of 1.55556 per dart. His Eminence realised that he could probably achieve a better score from throwing the darts with his eyes shut.

However, the Cardinal then reached his optimum level of inebriation, and turned up his game to the delight of his supporters and on-lookers. The atmosphere was electric, and when His Eminence actually managed to nail the much sought after 101, the crowd brought the house down. Gran looked crestfallen as arrow after arrow struck its target. Cardinal picked up the next two legs to tie the match 3-3.

In the spirit of friendliness and fairplay (and the desire to go and play the quiz machine in another pub), the two players called it a day. Honour was satisfied, and Cardinal Richelieu achieved a slight warm glow at winning a pound.

Great !

Great fun! I would've joined in, but er, I didn't.

Often throw a few arrers on a Friday lunchtime. If it is arranged again, (and Carling don't mind co-sponsoring) I'll be there!

The beauty is that you can have it sponsored by any beer you like!

We'll probably be holding another tournament at the weekend if you fancy travelling up for it.

Did you play again last night, CR?

Yes I did Gran. Have you forgotton already?

cardinal richelieu wrote: The first leg was a close encounter, with both players throwing some decent arrers. Gran narrowly missed out on a 47-dart finish before finally nailing the double 1 and grabbing the 1st leg, and a £1 of the Cardinal's hard-earned money.

The second leg was an even more exciting affair, with Cardinal Richelieu stamping his authority and hitting a treble 20. At one point he was over 100 points ahead of Gran, but his lack of match practice was telling as he had around 30 attempts at hitting his double, and missing every time. Both players were close to abandoning the whole tournament when the Cardinal finally nailed the double to even the match.

At this point, probably as a result of the alcohol generously provided by Kronenbourg (at a very reasonable £2.50 a pint), they agreed a side-bet of £1 for any player managing to nail 101 in 3 darts. Gran wasn't too keen, but given that neither of the players had ever achieved this heady score, he agreed.

The next two games were tense affairs. Both times the Cardinal hit some big arrows, but failed to capitalise when it came down to the final analysis. He lost both games and the score was 3-1. He also achieved a truly pathetic score of 14 from 9 darts, an average score of 1.55556 per dart. His Eminence realised that he could probably achieve a better score from throwing the darts with his eyes shut.

However, the Cardinal then reached his optimum level of inebriation, and turned up his game to the delight of his supporters and on-lookers. The atmosphere was electric, and when His Eminence actually managed to nail the much sought after 101, the crowd brought the house down. Gran looked crestfallen as arrow after arrow struck its target. Cardinal picked up the next two legs to tie the match 3-3.

In the spirit of friendliness and fairplay (and the desire to go and play the quiz machine in another pub), the two players called it a day. Honour was satisfied, and Cardinal Richelieu achieved a slight warm glow at winning a pound.

this really is very good. best post i've read in a long time on here.
my darting ability is about the same so if your sponsors can organise a match in London, i'll be there with my personalised flights.

You're too kind UP ops: I'm blushing...

I played some of the worst arrers of my life last night. Gran was playing terribly... I lost 3-1 last night, the last game we both ended up going for double 1 and even that took an eternity.

Forgot to ask, do you really have personalised flights?? What do they look like?

sadly i do have personalised flights they are pink with a punning darts nickname on my own name. you should get some, they only cost a few quid from a company in wales. i'll look it up if you are interested.

So you can choose your own design?? Aye, please do send me the details, although it will be slightly embarassing having ones own flights but being absolutely hopeless at the game

that is the whole point of it: celebrating naffness.
my brother has a name similar to rayden so if he won he'd do the electric hands thing. my name is nothing like blanka but i'd do a forward roll if i won.

will pm you when i find it.

Do Red Dragon do personalised flights?

from memory i don't think so although my weapons used to be the blue diamonds from red dragon until i left them in the pub.

have smsed my big brother who will know where they were from.

Just checked the Red Dragon website and it seems that they dont. I did find some nice flights with naked women on though. That would get the crowd goin in your tournies!!