Fruit Machine Chat

Anyone mind if I talk naked ladies for a bit? Thought not

I'm quite partial to including visits to what I would describe as 'strip pubs' if I'm on my rounds, you know the sort: £1 in the pint glass, just-about-OK-ish looking student does a 3-minute pole dance, repeat until chucking-out time.

Some of these places aren't too bad (eg. The Queen Anne/Vauxhall since it was refurbed) and some are total dives (eg. The Nags Head/Aldgate East - which had a rather profitable C'n'R for aaages). But I experienced The Victoria in Hayes, Middlesex last night - and the girls were fantastic. To the point that instead of just dancing round a pole for a while, they, er, 'interact' with you a lot more than you expect.

A private dance cost £12 and lasted fully 10mins in a curtained-off corner but the girl didn't just dance, she practically molested me. And by that I mean she 'gave Percy a wake-up call he wasn't expecting'. This was more like the sort of thing you might expect in an ultra-expensive exclusive place in the centre of town, but no - this was a reasonably priced pub - certainly not a dive - and it made for a great couple of hours after a football afternoon (as long as the missus never gets to find out) ...

Anyone else got anywhere nice like this on their rounds that they'd like to share? (I'm talking pubs, not clubs)

so your local whore-house has a unchipped c'n'r ?

You're presumably also an afficionado of the griffin on clerkenwell road nixxy?

Certainly sounds like you got value for money you lucky sod, or maybe she just took a shine to you?

These places are usually designed to fleece your wallet more than a roulette terminal where you've covered 35 of the numbers and the RNG is set to 'ultra rigged doom' mode.

I remember seeing one of these type of pubs on a Sky 1 show - Britains Roughest Pubs. Or something along those lines and said pub was down south too.

Nixxy was probably propping up the bar!

A few years back a friend took me to several establishments similar to your description, in West London. Can't recall exactly where they were, and most of them were 'wipe your feet on the way out' kind of establishments, with rough disinterested looking women. But in one place the eye candy was absolutely immense, they were far too pretty to be english, and far too attractive to be stripping for a bunch of noisy neanderthals. But strip they did..... My friend even managed to slyly film the action on his phone.

Hahaha

When I first moved to Edinburgh I discovered the delights of £5 a dance titty bars.

Usually went on " football team nights out / birthdays / im drunk and wanna see some tits on a Saturday and I've fully accepted that my chat is shite" kind of night outs.

When the mrs finally moved up here she got wind one night that me and the boys had been in and went mental. I offered to show her that the one we went to wasn't seedy at all, that the girls choose to do it and that the majority of them were students through in Glasgow who choose to do it through in Edinburgh so they lessen the risk of being spotted.

It was going so well until we set foot in the door and five out of the six girls on greeted me with a "hiya Ross, how's things" - blowing my "I've only ever been in the once" argument right out the water.

Spyder wrote:so your local whore-house has a unchipped c'n'r ?

Best.Reply.Ever

nuff said