Fruit Machine Chat

I go to wash my hands in a John Barras Pub today and was immediately annoyed at the only sink with a working hot tap.

You press it for the water and as soon as you take your hand off, it stops dead. So inevitably you find the only way round is to do one hand at a time - which takes twice as long.

Then the hand driers.

There are three.

First one just goes "click" when you put your hands underneath and nothing else. No air - nothing.

The second doesn't even click . . . . Until you take your hands away then let's out a half-second "Whooosh!", just to let you know that it has a sense of humour but as you go to use it again, it stops.

The third works instantly, but with no heat. Just an icy blast straight from the Arctic.

What's the point of them even being on? Especially the third one that just gives you frostbite.

Those percussive taps are a pain. I reckon the motto of the company that makes them must be "One hand doesn't wash the other".

Those taps have a diaphragm type washer in them that should hold against the return spring so it comes back up slowly so the water stays on for a sensible time, but when the washers get worn out, they lose strength so they cant hold properly and the spring just pops the head of the tap up instantly, resulting in an instant shutoff of water flow.

They are fooking annoying!

Anyone seen the hand dryers in Wetherspoons?

Big sign next to them proudly announcing:

"This dryer uses 50% less energy than the previous dryer"

(As if it makes them hard)

But these dryers also take twice as long to dry your hands than the previous dryer, so how does that work?

Clarkey you seem to know your onions when it comes to cars and handy bits and bobs such as tap diaphragms.

I work in a builders merchants, we dont sell em anymore, but we used to have to stock the service kits for those hideous taps.

The other fault with em is when the top washer goes brittle, resulting in a kind of circular jet of water coming out around the top of the thing all the time, they were a good idea, but are very tempramental.

And as for cars, i did just under 2 years of a 3 year mechanic apprenticeship back in 2000 when i left school, but the £40 a week wage was not very good for a 16-17 year old, and when a mte told me of a job going in a factory where he worked that paid £130 a week i packed up and did that instead, mind numbingly boring mind, but the money was worth it!

Thats a pretty good wage i might stop fucking about on these fruit machines and take that up

Well, it aint the best money, but its a living at the end of the day, pays the rent, pays for the nice car etc, and its a constant guaranteed wage, unlike fruits, plus all those glasses of coke and j20s you have to buy when visiting pubs play havoc with my guts.

I am trying to avoid buying drinks in pubs like wetherspoons now as all these J20's cant be good for me

True, sugary shite with a hint of something that may or may not be based on actual fruit once apon a time.

I like a beer (or 6!) myself, but getting slowly arseholed while trying to play stuff isnt really the ideal combination, fuck, what was that, oh ,missed it, it was going slow and i didnt realise until 2 seconds after it happened coz i was half pissed, etc... not good!

In a local there's a handdryer called 'tornado' or words to that effect.

You out one hand in a time and it basically rips your skin off in the process... blodoy powerful stuff.

Ah, is that the 'Dyson' handdryer? Sounds like a jet engine taking off but 'feels' rather strange when you use it?

Have definitely seen that comment in the 'spoons gents. lol Bit of rolled up bog-roll usually does the job for me...

there's dyson airblades round here in the public loos

mr lugsy wrote:there's dyson airblades round here in the public loos

Has anybody successfully dried their hands (and I mean got them completely dry) in the ten seconds stated on a Dyson Airblade? I say it's impossible.

Thoughts welcomed.

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! wrote:I go to wash my hands in a John Barras Pub today and was immediately annoyed at the only sink with a working hot tap.

You press it for the water and as soon as you take your hand off, it stops dead. So inevitably you find the only way round is to do one hand at a time - which takes twice as long.

Then the hand driers.

There are three.

First one just goes "click" when you put your hands underneath and nothing else. No air - nothing.

The second doesn't even click . . . . Until you take your hands away then let's out a half-second "Whooosh!", just to let you know that it has a sense of humour but as you go to use it again, it stops.

The third works instantly, but with no heat. Just an icy blast straight from the Arctic.

What's the point of them even being on? Especially the third one that just gives you frostbite.

You should consider yourself lucky that the pub a) has working taps and b) doesn't have just a manky towel stuck to the wall to dry your hands!!

I would say the %age of pubs without soap in them is over 50% too.

On the subject of soap, what's with the new craze about the foam shit?? Absolutely terrible stuff that doesn't get the job done.

As for hand dryers, I never bother using them. I do believe drip drying is the most hygenic (and probably quickest) way. Having said that, I do venture over to the Dyson ones for novelty value when I see one, but obviously they are never in dodgy pubs!