stupid sayings from average joey munter

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Mon May 12, 2008 11:23 pm

thought id'e start a thread about the stupid things people have said to us over the years. just for a laugh.

the classic '' is it paying out ?
the stupid '' wish id'e stayed on it now'' or ''if id'e only put another quid in''usually after youve just done something that they couln never have done in a million years like a guac or bringing round a setup or similar

the hopelessly stupid '' now youve won that jackpot m8 ,you should go on the other bandits in the pub m8 as they send out a signal to the others to drop one too''

once i was doing a shoot em up, and some pilchard came up to me and asked me why i was only hitting 15 and not streaker, when i explaind there wernt enuf numbers to reach it ,he wouldn't have it and insisted there was an extra num 4 on the third reel. twat.

and we've all had the chav that sais dont play that m8 i just took 50quid out of it, only for your first coin to sail over the back.

or how about '' i took 300 quid out of that m8,,,,''' and its a 125

or '' put your money in this one m8, dont worry you wont lose i play these for a living '' when you ask why their not playing it themselves then? its allways '' cos im skint''

or '' let me hit the knockouts for you m8, i can get you jackpot every time,,''
when it obviously doesnt they say '' i hit it but the bandi ripped you off m8 soz''

or'' if i give you a pound can you get me a jackpot too?''

i'll leave you with one of my personal favourites, whilst playing a red arrow, a muppet watched me hit wild thing, and said thats easy, so i told him that as long as he used his own money getting to the feature, i would give him 10 - 1 odds on any amount he gave me, if he could hit the top well obviously he paid me 8 or 9 tenners before giving up,walked off sulking, and obviously left it numbering for an extra vast profit for me..
,.

come on then lads, your best muppetry tales or phrases please

mr lugsy · Post by **mr lugsy** » Mon May 12, 2008 11:52 pm

people who try to get the extra nudge on the first reel on astras make me laugh,especially when you tell them it wont and they just scoff.
the ones who think barx and monops give extras too are even funnier.
some people think refilled machines down the back will still payout ,lol.
people who think taking the bank out,thus making it not down the back will affect it(excluding some old token machines where a low tube stopped jp availabilty).
grandmas who feel the need to always hold the lot then cancel on their barx when getting a nudge hold.
chinese punters with their double tap the start "method" and pressing the button really gently etc.

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Mon May 12, 2008 11:54 pm

I had a barman in leicester centre come up too me on an invincible and ask how i always win? i'd just said i never collect anything and just push it till it gives mega streak, then i got number runner for 99 nudges, cue 20 questions, then i gambled up too mega streak and every number was 3 or 10 as they do, he says now i've sussed it just keep gambling till it goes 3 and 10 everytime, he's gettin a bit annoying now, after i finished he asks if he can have a word in private, ok then. he says i don't want too know how too get mega streak, just super streak or £10 will do, i've got 3 kids too feed

ops:

Drpepper · Post by **Drpepper** » Tue May 13, 2008 12:20 am

My favourite one ever was some chav who'd won £2 from £1 on IJ2 being overly chuffed, collecting his 2 nuggets and running round going to all of his little mates "TWO BAR FROM A BAR!!!"

One that happened on sunday that was close was this gang of 10 year olds playing a crazy fruits at 100mph as kids tend to, anyway on the board they were (i was playing pool and watching/laughing) and they had 2 bells on the board, so he gets to a question mark, and the sun(slow down) lights up and he twats the start button without thinking, cue his mates all putting their heads in their hands, consoling eachother and saying stuff such as"AAH MAN YOU HAD THE JACKY THERE!" acting like it was actually the end of the world, i nearly weed myself.

JG · Post by JG » Tue May 13, 2008 12:52 am

Comprehensive list there Trayhop, but I'll rack my brains whilst typing. You've cast down the gold standards in human stupidity and fruit machine playing.

One you haven't mentioned.

Local addict/annoying tap-u-up chav-u-don't-like has done his jobseekers in the Extreme/vamp/GGGGGG/wiyb/bloop/Monopoly Hot property etc

"oi! geez, I've just done £40 in that and it's full. Whack a quid in, go halves like."

Fantastic idea old boy! I'd love to go halves with you, even better I'd like to go wholes with myself, without you watching. Cheerio!

Barmaid: "The last fruit machine we had used to be quite bothersome, always breaking down. We've not had any problems with this one yet." (about p1 wiyb)

Random punter: "Alright, alright stop emptying it!" (joking) - (p1 wiyb again).

There's the old having £70 in the bank and putting £68 in to get it and being made out to be super rich and super spawny by people with no idea that you have to put money in to get money out.

"I just won on that Monopoly Hot Property" (a blatant lie)

"Someone just put a quid into that Monopoly Hot property and got straight on the board" (a blatant lie)

"'SCUSE ME! SomeFINGS wrong with this machine. I had £100 in me pocket and its all gone in and now I've got nothing, but I should have something 'cos it sez its on 80%, so I should have £80, so you owe me £80"

"hey mate! get on that Rainbow Riches! I just put in £30 and didn't get anything back! I also lost £6 on the roulette machine nearest the door in the bookies up the road - worth a shot innnit? Go halves yeeah?"

Then the annoying barman of doom. Oh dear Eddie. A cloying barman. With kids to feed. Here come the questions that even a scientifically cloned moron couldn't dream up.

"'ave you got one of 'em key things that 'elp you win?"
"What does money belt do?"
"If its full does the % increase?"
"What's the most mega streak can go for?"
"What's the least mega streak can go for?"
"What does mega streak usually go for?"
"What is mega streak?"
"Where is mega streak and what are its GPS co-ordinates?"
"Is mega streak a good feature?"
"Is collect features a good feature?"
"What's a feature?"
"Can you do up my shoelaces please? I need to set a good example for my kids."
"What's a shoelace?"

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Tue May 13, 2008 1:01 am

JG wrote:
Fantastic idea old boy! I'd love to go halves with you, even better I'd like to go wholes with myself, without you watching. Cheerio!

jeffvickers · Post by **jeffvickers** » Wed May 14, 2008 7:10 pm

Win £10 and the locals suggest you've "EMPTIED" the bandit

jeffvickers · Post by **jeffvickers** » Wed May 14, 2008 7:12 pm

Oh, and its a "TRAIL", not a "TRIAL"!

Martal~Wombat · Post by **Martal~Wombat** » Wed May 14, 2008 10:35 pm

Wot about... "Let me hit the repeat for you",
and if it repeats............
"thats gotta be worth a couple of quid, i can always hit that"

JG · Post by JG » Wed May 14, 2008 11:58 pm

Always best laying down the odds before hand, when the self proclaimed 'repeat hitting expert' appears.

Vamp it up (picked)

Pay me £5.

No repeat = I keep the £5.
Repeat = you keep the £50 bank.

Strange how they move on, anyone would think they were on the blag.

Martal~Wombat · Post by **Martal~Wombat** » Thu May 15, 2008 12:13 am

JG wrote:Always best laying down the odds before hand, when the self proclaimed 'repeat hitting expert' appears.

Vamp it up (picked)

Pay me £5.

No repeat = I keep the £5.
Repeat = you keep the £50 bank.

Strange how they move on, anyone would think they were on the blag.

Oh yes!
Been there, dun that

Matt Vinyl · Post by **Matt Vinyl** » Thu May 15, 2008 9:47 am

[quote]Oh, and its a "TRAIL", not a "TRIAL"!/quote]

Gah, so many people say this!!

"Oit, beers on you mate!"

Hmm, yep, I put £60 in and got £70 out.

DOH!

Older characters in pubs stating that they 'used to have magnets'.

Other characters (of any particular age, but usually younger) stating that blue 'Bar Stepper' on an Invincible went for '£78' yesterday evening.

Similar characters stating that they won £200 off of JP repeat on a Gold Rush.