Fruit Machine Chat

Yes, commonly used with wine bottles, it is the air between the wine and the cork. It is also used to describe the "lost" liquid in petrol tanks and the like.

Over to you Lionel

hurrah. it's been ages. as for HE doing any work i find that hard to believe what line are you in YE?
btw when i worked in a bar there was an aussie manager who pronounced it yoo-lage.

okay: big ron from eastenders filmed six months of advance scenes before the actor died. eastenders showed the episodes but how did they explain his disappearance from the square when the prerecorded shows ran out?

Who was Big Ron? I used to watch Eastenders occasionally and don't remember him. But I'm going to guess that he started drinking in another bar in protest at the poor standard of fruit machines in the Queen Vic.

- part of my job involves writing technical documentation for computer software, in this case, petrol pump software. I've tried long and hard to think of something amusing to say about it, but I honestly can't think of anything.

Big Ron was a market stall holder often told to "Mind meeee stall, willya" by various others and seen in background of pub sometimes. About 6'2" (tall and wide) in fifties with receding grey hair and often wore a sleeveless body warmer/gilet garment. Rarely spoke but often nodded or grunted an answer.


PS My only funny petrol pump joke


Aliens land on earth and approach a deserted petrol station. Assuming that the pump is an earthling the aliens say "Take me to your leader and take your finger out of your ear whilst I am talking to you"

big ron was the fat market trader who hardly ever spoke but was always in the background. not a fruity answer though i'm afraid. just an example of lazy scriptwriting a la "and it had all just been a dream".

petrol pump software eh? anything to do with adding an extra digit to the price?

anything to do with adding an extra digit to the price?

ROFL!!!

Had his stall been "moved on" ?

Re: even "adding an extra digit" would be more interesting than what I have to do... I might have to write a document to the weights and measures authority. I still can't find anything amusing to say about it, although I might throw in Harry's joke at the end to lighten the atmos.

nope, there was a brief storyline explaining why he moved to spain.

Retired? Deported? Won a holiday villa?

nearly there, bit more sensational though.

Long lost son/daughter/sister/brother usually occurs in EE.

not quite there yet.
HE's guess about the villa is nearest so far.

Some shady Eastenders gangster gives him a timeshare in exchange for his stall?

Pat Butcher gives Big Ron a wink and a show of leg, and he bolts on the next available flight out the country?

He wants to participate in a bullfight as both the matador and the bull?

He gets gored whilst taking part in the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona?

Michael Barrymore had an outdoor party their and Ron's gay son was found floating in the pool with several pieces of fruit and veg ........


Best stop there before libel kicks in.

cardinal richelieu wrote:
Pat Butcher gives Big Ron a wink and a show of leg, and he bolts on the next available flight out the country?

i assume this is a euphemism for winning the lottery so is the correct answer, over to His Eminence.