Fruit Machine Chat

went to the big match earlier (Engerlund, Engerlund, barmy army etc.etc.) decided to walk home because it was a nice day. sweating like a hooded rapist. saw a new machine in a really grotty pub. figured i might as well have a pitstop and some free money. trouble is, the pint was absolutely vile. and the barman likes playing parlour games after his shift.

i struggled through a few sips of this poison while playing what i'm good at, trouble is, the barman (australian) was watching and helping . we are talking silly free money here, embarrassingly easy. and he was being chummy but i didn't want to drink what he had served me. so i went for a smoke and slung the pint into a flowerbed. he saw that.
i guess he imagined i went to the pub purely to play games, not true: i'd have liked a decent refreshing pint but there was no chance of that.

What were you drinking? Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I guess if he was being chummy I may have dropped a couple of hints re: the foulness of said pint. Hints such as 'BLURGH! THIS TASTES DISGUSTING!' and 'BLURGH! UUURGH! BLURGH!' may have helped your cause.

Come on, let's have some expert tips from fruit machinists who buy pints, drive and have to dispose of them. I know Scott flushes his down the toilet, but where do you hide the pint glass when walking in if you have a super nosey barman? Who takes a pint into the lavatory? Clues, tips, stories, hints, pint glass emptiers please gentlemen. You're not allowed a J <<subscript active>2<subscript non active> O in every pub.

chuck it at someone, tip it in the payout tray of a bellfruit, dont actually buy a drink, or, and im actually being serious, consider taking a 500ml coke bottle in an inside pocket and fill that up and ditch it after you leave, that way you only have to drink about 10% of any pintage?

I now ask for a bottle of mineral water without glass so what i dont drink i take home---surely alcohol and mental achievement do not go hand in hand! At least two old pros I knew got done for drink driving and with one of them as well as machine playing,he was taxi driving as well.Two knockouts for the price of one.

and dont get me going about smoking....
any quiz machine player who smokes is a nutter....
useful though when they move out to the garden for a fag in between games I jump on the machine.

Istenem wrote:new machine in a really grotty pub

Which boozer?

apologies for the garbled message last night; combine sunstroke with communal euphoria (and i did get a good pint (or two or three or four) later) and i became a blathering simpleton.

cheers George, enlightening as ever.
Cool, you are quite right about the smoking. it is defenceless.
at the point when i went to this pub, i was gasping for some refreshment, maybe would have been more sensible to go with a softie and loads of ice but that is one for hindsight.

i think the pub is called the bull and bush (it was something traditional which cheered me and impaired my judgement) but as you can imagine, it is not a place i would ever recommend.

bull and bush

Sounds like a descriptor for a lot of the 'womenfolk' around this way at 2:00 on a Saturday morning. <Yark!>

xyz

I'm at my best before my first sip of alcohol. I'm always astounded at people who are able to retain SWP or any sort of general knowledge abilities while drinking, because I certainly can't - the "gimme" answers are all still there, but if anything requires any serious effort to extract from the recesses of my mind, I'll make mistakes if I've been drinking.

If I'm intending to do any sort of serious SWP play I will stick to the softies - if I find a new SWP when drinking I will most likely return when sober unless I know that's not possible.

Very occasionally if I feel the nature of the pub demands it, I will order a pint of lager and leave it undrunk, but to be honest I think that often looks as bad. And I agree with dmac: the last time (and about the only time) I got serious hassle in a pub (surrounded by the landlady and four or five bully boys and told to leave immediately), I'd ordered a pint of lager as I knew the pub would be rough.

As long as I'm not driving I think I'd prefer to drink. If I am playing in London the natural breaks caused by travelling on the Tube between pubs of interest usually ensures that I can't drink quickly enough for it to affect my ability on any game (within reason of course!).

As for the safety issue, I am pretty pragmatic here - there are always other pubs/machines and if I don't like the look of a place for whatever reason I will simply go somewhere else.

I tend to drink whatever I like but almost always but the barman/maid a drink. Amazing how this precludes any awkward situations once the coins start dropping.

Some of the best pros I know are better players after 6 or 7 pints.

i think i'm with NS on this. yes, i do quite often take my lunchbreak in a pub to play SWP and have a meal but that is more about addiction than enjoyment.
but aside from that i have twin motives for going to the pub: SWP and a good pint. there is a certain pleasure in a nice drop; equally, there is a certain pleasure in a nice drop.

optimal drinking with pub games (imo):

0 reading the paper deliberately slowly
1 being chummy with the publican and/or his dog
2 poker
3 SWP
4 darts
5 being chummy with the pretty barmaid/crapping out on that and wasting money in the bandit
6 pool
7 pool for money
8 taxi home
9 starting a fight with zangief

but this goes out of the window when you are in the pub for social reasons.

there is a certain pleasure in a nice drop; equally, there is a certain pleasure in a nice drop.

Very good... ...and very true!