Fruit Machine Chat

i occasionally take lunch in a certain pub where the machine is seldom willing to give me much more than i put in. but the food is good so i go in a fair bit.

anyhow, today i ordered my food and put a tentative coin in the machine. whilst doing so i noticed a conspicuously undrunk 1/2 pint on the dripshelf. "aha! i am in the wake of a decent player." but i continued regardless.

so first game, japseye. 301, questions a piece of piss. £3 taken.
next game PMP. £1 at 7 pints, £4 at 8, £5 at 9. £4 collected (bottled it)
next southpark but i crapped out. tried again, crapped out again.
then hex took forever but £1 spot prize and £1 on the hexagons.
next back to PMP but only £1
by which time my food had arrived. sat down to eat that and have a smoke.

back on to the machine after lunch for £2 off TFD then shoot the stars. £1 at fourth step but i fouled up by not getting VAL KILMER
then i was that cross with my enfeebled brain that i left.

so i didn't make my first squillion but whoever had been at it before (clearly with the sole intention of playing SWP (despite schoolboy error of leaving entrance ticket on the machine)) hadn't taken any money from what i consider to be the most obvious games.

what could it be?

there is one game on paragon which offers mavens untold riches and he didn't bother with anything else?

a full-timer who is, at best, mediocre?

some weirdo goes to pubs at opening time, buys a half and is already sozzled after one sip?

a cretin who is addicted to DOND/wwtbam/a.n.other?

a diabolical ruse by staff to discourage pros by planting full half glasses on the swp?

something else?

Hmm, food for thought...

I guess it could've been a dwarf who once he'd popped his drink on the shelf, couldn't get it back off again, so left despondently, or...

...'Could' have been a youngster who was served by an 'unbothered' member of staff, proceeded to play the machine and was then 'asked to leave' by someone else, before he could blow the fluff off of his half.



I do hate that tell tale sign though that means you may well have to accept 'sloppy seconds' if you intend to take on the machine in question...

A pro who plays Deal or No Deal. Pros tend not to arse about on pointless games.

QuizMaster wrote:A pro who plays Deal or No Deal. Pros tend not to arse about on pointless games.

Or WWTBAM. Suri, to name but one pro, told me that WWTBAM is one of his specialty games (and I've since had confirmation of that from another source also). Having been sniffy though QM, you'd surely join me in admiring UP's ability on Pints Make Prizes, a game I for one hardly win a thing on.

What if it's a badly run pub and the said entance ticket was remaining from the night before by somebody who couldn't drink anymore!

Agree with you that I admire his ability on Pints Make Prizes, which I also never play. But given his description, he could have walked into that pub after me (except I'd have finished my pint (unless it was foul)).

Also grecian, you should know from his description that he was playing a Paragon (his machine of choice) therefore the previous player could not have been playing WWTBAM.

i can see how a DOND pro might not touch PMP/WU/bingo/hex/etc. but it seems bizarre that japseye threw £3 at me on my first game. surely it is worth one minute of a pro's route to snaffle the free money which is always available from bully? that seems the very easiest way to make money and the Q&A format is the same skillset as the Q&A on DOND.

i don't know much about DOND, only ever play it with mates but when i've got to the endgame £4 seems about average. subtract £1.50 for the half and 50p for the credit and you have £2 profit. i personally have never played again after a win on DOND but i'd imagine it is like any other game and that it pays out what it is prepared to in one go rather than in drips, so i'd assume it is pointless to punt 50p after a win.

QuizMaster wrote: Also grecian, you should know from his description that he was playing a Paragon (his machine of choice) therefore the previous player could not have been playing WWTBAM.

A good point - I'll get my coat. In my defence UP did suggest the player was a WWTBAM fanatic in his opening post, but I guess given the fact he was playing a Paragon meant the player wouldn't have been playing WWTBAM at that time. On reflection I think it's most likely there's no big story here and that the player was Joe Average (hence the cash left in the machine) who'd been called away from the pub for some emergency reason and had had to leave an unfinished pint.

I'm no pro by a long stretch, UP, but personally I've grown tired of Bullseye nowadays and rarely play it, despite the pretty much guaranteed £1 or £2 per game to which you refer. I suspect a true pro may be put off by the fact that prizes above £2 are, at least in my experience, a rarity.

Actually, DOND is unusual in that it can, if it wants, pay out a prize over, say, two or three goes, rather than in one. I've definitely had £10 over two or three goes before so if you feel it was really looking generous and have ended up with £2 or so, it's (IMHO) worth another punt. I'm afraid in my case that my ability to reach the endgame consistently when the target is much over 40k is sufficiently low to make playing DOND a matter of hope rather than expectation.

I sometimes suffer similar paranoid imaginings when I find a half-drunk drink left on a machine.

When you consider the myriad combination of factors that could have led to this happening this could be the most pointless debate since someone suggested that it was alright to play a machine and not buy a drink

Echoing grecian's comments, whilst Bullseye is simply a question of tunring up to win a couple of quid, it's just so fucking predictable and boring that I can't be arsed anymore. Also it causes me trouble by tainting my current mindset - I have to have clarity in order to play.

He's also right about DOND - I'd say the average is nearer £3.20 rather than £4 at the end, but you can get a few of these. I generally keep going until it drops into the 60,000+ range - anything under this I can usually take, and I'm getting better every day.

i agree that bully is tiresome but i haven't tired of being given free money so i will always indulge mr bowen. otoh i don't have the depth of knowledge required for DOND/wwtbam hence i don't register if they are on any machine i play. this is probably for the best as it appears there are already people befouling my territory. but if it staggers payouts i might have a more wholehearted sniff when i'm on jaunts to various weddings and stag dos this summer.

re. the drink, had it been an unfinished pint i would not have thought twice but i don't think there is a single person in London who would order a half pint at 12.30 and leave it undrunk on the quiz machine unless they had an ulterior motive.

i'm on good terms with the publican of that place so i will go in after work and ask him if he was paying any attention.

This isn't a Sherlock Holmes novel, there's no great acheivement trying to deduce the exact happenings from finding a half pint and a pregnant quizzer.

Damn it Cecil - is a contribution like that going to help us get closer to the truth?

Lemon Entry, dear Watson!

(I know that is a derivative of the so called 'famed' saying, but apparently, it was never uttered by the great man, no?)