Worst games you have ever seen

[HornyNick]

Some more gems I had managed to block from memory, but this thread has brought the horrors back:

I Love Lucy Pinder

I love Lucy Pinder as well! I dont recall ever seeing this game. How old is it? Im assuming it has some nice pics? I dont suppose any1 has the game done for download to a pc like someone did with the original South Park game?

[blackmogu]

ILLP used to be _everywhere_ in Bournemouth... probably due to the fact that she hails from there, I believe. Game was a piile of tosh I recall.

[rogerthymes]

Well, there's many very bad ones isn't there. But I agree with QM that Paragon's Treasure Island is the very worst - by some way, IMHO. It managed to combine appallingly clunky and outdated graphics, a completely misjudged question gradient (five or six easy ones then straight into the hardest sorts of spoilers) and nil realistic possibility of prizes (I think Cool has confirmed that from his perspective before). It has also possessed baffling longevity.

Won a fair bit off Treasure Isle. If it wanted to pay out it went piss easy and waved you on to the cash round without breaking a sweat. Usually you could get £2 or 3.50 but a couple of times I got £16.

The worst games are the ones where you can get the first question wrong and GAME OVER appears straight away. That happened to me on Spend It Like Beckham once.

[steveseagull]

Rog, are we talking about the same game?
there is treasure island with the axes and parrot which can be quite profitable , , ,
Or there is a wank treasure island with coins to collect and a self destruct
if you fill in the skull and crossbones.
This has to be one of the worst programmes ever devised, i for one has never won from it (except spot prizes).
I would like to invite cops and robbers into the hall of shame. Although i have a high score of 159 and win abit collecting SWAG, i have never got into millionaires mansion. Is it just me, and what happens when there?

[Matt Vinyl]

Mr. S. Seagull,

CnR is pretty poor on the ability to win front. You can literally go for an age without finding the fourth swag bag - and even that would only be £1.

As for Millionaire's Row - you have to answer 10/15 questions (someone confirm, I only got there twice!) and each one moves you up a prize scale from £1 to £20. When you get a question wrong, you bomb out with that prize. I think I got £5 once and £10 the other time. I tend not to play this anymore unless I'm really bored.

[BigEd]

I challenge you all to find a game worst than "Its a Knockout". I can only remember seeing it on Paragon, and even then for only a very short time.

This combined everything bad about a game possible in one.

Shite Gamplay, Shite graphics, Shite game control, Shite wins, Shite Sounds, Shite Shite.

You would beg for Lucy Pinder as soon as you pressed start on this game.

[rogerthymes]

Rog, are we talking about the same game?
there is treasure island with the axes and parrot which can be quite profitable , , ,
Or there is a wank treasure island with coins to collect and a self destruct
if you fill in the skull and crossbones.
This has to be one of the worst programmes ever devised, i for one has never won from it (except spot prizes).
I would like to invite cops and robbers into the hall of shame. Although i have a high score of 159 and win abit collecting SWAG, i have never got into millionaires mansion. Is it just me, and what happens when there?

Ah yes. Forgot about that one! It's the axe one I don't mind.

[Nil Satis]

I would like to invite cops and robbers into the hall of shame.

Couldn't agree more. I really hate that game. I have tried and tried to give it a go in all sorts of locations and have never found it in anything other than dead mode - I have never found it offering three keys to get into the Millionaire's Mansion and have never won more than about £3 on the Swag bags, and even that was with a bonus prize. It also insults my purist side (even I have one of those!) in the way that after a few questions you are basically relying on strings of 1 in 3 guesses after having built up a reasonable lead. A simply horrible game.

I dont recall ever seeing this game. How old is it? Im assuming it has some nice pics?

As for 'I Love Lucy Pinder', I think that one is about 3 years old and if I remember correctly it was a clone of I'm A Celebrity, i.e. no questions but lots of 'skill' games where the backgrounds would be pictures of Lucy Pinder rather than jungle scenes.

[Nil Satis]

Nil mate im confused, what is to like about the new version to blockbusters it has nothing to do with the concept of the show apart from going left to right.

The history here is that the early versions of Blockbusters were just terrible - the first one I can recall offered a 'Jackpot' of £1 for each 50p game - in theory it was meant to be a variable prize but it was always £1. The next variant was even worse - there the Jackpot was (unbelievably) a Free Game, which is worse even than a 50p 'Jackpot' as you were forced to play the same game again. There was another variant floating around that mixed in impossible skill bonuses - spotting words in a grid in an unrealistically quick time.

I always thought that this was such a missed opportunity given that almost everyone of a quiz machine playing age would have memories of watching Blockbusters, and you only have to look at the popularity of Deal or No Deal and Bullseye to see the selling power of a TV tie-in, and finally a decent version came out a year or so ago with a £10 JP for 50p and a decent set of questions. A really first class game while it lasted but obviously it must have been too easy as the next version (the current one) has been tweaked a couple of times, firstly to only offer a £4 JP for 50p or a £5 for £1 and then to add in spoilers of the worst kind - the exact attendance at some Charlton match from two years ago and so on.

You are right in one area namely that for some reason they have never sought to incorporate the key feature of the TV show in any of these games, namely the fact that the answers start with the selected letter each time.

P.S. You don't actually have to go left to right, you know...

[ROSSKEEN]

I would like to invite cops and robbers into the hall of shame.

Couldn't agree more. I really hate that game. I have tried and tried to give it a go in all sorts of locations and have never found it in anything other than dead mode - I have never found it offering three keys to get into the Millionaire's Mansion and have never won more than about £3 on the Swag bags, and even that was with a bonus prize. It also insults my purist side (even I have one of those!) in the way that after a few questions you are basically relying on strings of 1 in 3 guesses after having built up a reasonable lead. A simply horrible game.

I agree its a horrible game - but I have been to Millionaire's Row three times and had a fiver each time. It lets you on within 30 moves if its going to let you on.

I'm sure we've all had the 200+odd move games where that third key remains elusive. I think 275 was my pb but im sure I recall chat on here a while back of persons obtaining 400-500+.

And by pb, I mean 'I got lucky and happened to guess 25 right in a row'.

[steven]

I would like to invite cops and robbers into the hall of shame.

Couldn't agree more. I really hate that game. I have tried and tried to give it a go in all sorts of locations and have never found it in anything other than dead mode - I have never found it offering three keys to get into the Millionaire's Mansion and have never won more than about £3 on the Swag bags, and even that was with a bonus prize. It also insults my purist side (even I have one of those!) in the way that after a few questions you are basically relying on strings of 1 in 3 guesses after having built up a reasonable lead. A simply horrible game.

I agree its a horrible game - but I have been to Millionaire's Row three times and had a fiver each time. It lets you on within 30 moves if its going to let you on.

I'm sure we've all had the 200+odd move games where that third key remains elusive. I think 275 was my pb but im sure I recall chat on here a while back of persons obtaining 400-500+.

And by pb, I mean 'I got lucky and happened to guess 25 right in a row'.

couldnt agree more, terrible game.

[grecian]

I'll speak up in CnR's defence - it's basically worth a 50p investment each time you play a Paragon. There are only four basic games available on it, I reckon:

1. <3 keys, <4 cashbags - this non-prize game is actually pretty rare - maybe 15 per cent of games in my experience. So by and large you'll get your cash back on most occasions.

2. <3 keys, <8 cashbags - this is the most common type of result on the game - a £1 win. Very unexciting, but you've not lost cash. This is by far the most common result - maybe 80 per cent of games provided you're not playing game after game at the same venue. If it's on this mode, don't bother playing after c. 100 moves - it won't improve.

3. <3 keys, >7 cashbags - this occurs when the machine gives you either lots of cashbags, or random pound coins on route or in the safe - I call this the generosity mode. Again, it's rare - maybe 2-3 per cent of games, but generally it's good for a fairly healthy fiver. This will continue giving prize items after 100 moves, but not after about c. 200 in my experience.

4. <2 keys - Millionaire's Row. This is the holy grail - again 2-3 per cent of games and in my experience they tend to be like London buses in that they come along in twos or threes across different machines - not sure why. MR will gift you at least £5 unless you're unlucky, and will give a realistic shot of prizes up to at least £15. In my experience, you'll get the 3 keys by c. 80 moves or so if it wants to give you them.

So to conclude I think the game is worth a 50p punt: you're unlikely to lose money, you'll probably make 50p and there's a small chance of a really decent prize.

[Nil Satis]

4. <2 keys - Millionaire's Row.

Mr Picky says surely you mean ">2 keys"?


As for Cops 'n' Robbers, my last word on the subject (for now :wink is that there aren't many question and answer games where I would not expect to get my 50p back most times by winning £1 from the first game or two. Unfortunately none of us have an infinite amount of time to play every game on every box so we have to specialise and games where there is only a 3% chance of winning anything else are going to get ignored most of the time.

[whiteswan]

I have a game on my OPEN called Frog In A LIQUIDIZER which is truly dreadful.........and also some god awful rip off of Bullseye called Bullseye - with trememndously bad graphics.

Dave

[kingzilla]

Ca ching ching lord of the bling ......nooooooo i cant get it out of my head again