Anfield Rd Pavlova
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 5:10 pm
Whatever happened to him, did he admit the hoax in the end??
Has his thread been deleted??
Has his thread been deleted??
Dunno, but I got busted big style the other day in my local JD Wetherhorse.
I went in early on Saturday for the breakfast special offer (£1.99 for full English with all the trimmings, and a mug of luke-warm tea). Having eaten the aforementioned sustinence I quickly flicked through my copy of The Sun before making for the door.
As I approached the door I flicked a quick glance at one of the fruit machines...then someone behind me yelled 'FREEZE ASSHOLE! DON'T YOU FUCKIN' MOVE!' and then all mayhem broke loose.
Cops started appearing from all over the Goddamn place, from the toilets, from behind the bar, everywhere. Two guys in grey suits sat at a table near me suddenly jumped to their feet and pulled out their badges. Two guys dressed as chefs rushed out from the kitchens wearing holsters, even the guy behind the bar who served me went for his piece. Then a bunch of armed cops filed in and trained their sights on my face.
I was soon cuffed and hauled down to the Precinct, where I spent the next 4 hours sat at the end of some sweaty cop's desk, surrounded by cups of coffee and stacks of paperwork. The fax machine behind me was making a weird humming sound which was annoying the hell out of me. I also must have passively smoked enough cigarettes during that time to give me lung cancer for sure. Finally the cop shone his desk lamp into my face and started interrogating me -
COP: When we searched you we found a key in your pocket. What does it do?
ME: It opens locks...
COP: Very funny. Let me ask you this then - what lock does the key open?
ME: My front door...
COP: Really? You always carry a key in your pocket when you go into a pub?
ME: Well yes, or else I wouldn't be able to get back into my fucking house later would I?
COP: Don't get smart with me you Son of a Bitch! I've just been checking you bank accounts...
ME: Oh really?
COP: Yes, really! How you explain this then? Large sums of money paid regularly into your account, exactly a month apart? And wait...look here, these deposits go back one hell of a long way - over THREE YEARS! Hehe! Bingo! Wait until The Chief hears about this! You're gonna fry for this, pal! Looks like we're gonna be here a while - I think I'll order a pizza!
ME: Those are my wages...
COP: Eh?
ME: My wages...
COP: ...Shit!...
I can't bothered to type any more, but you get the idea...
