BREAKING (buttons) NEWS
Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 9:55 pm
War has broken out on the motorways! We now have Service Station Terrorism! A group called W.T.S.O.T.F.F.F. (Wipe The Smiles Off Their F*****g Freaky Faces) has been formed.
According to a spokesman, 5 teams of semi-pros have been sent out on a mission to disable various buttons on various "Deals" scattered across the nation. These people are not even out on a "run" as it were, simply to SEEK AND DESTROY...
A source says, "This is due to the arrogance of various "pros" who have grown heads bigger than their entire bodies. They show no respect, no courtesy, they are just totally in love with themselves! We are going to make sure we cost them a lot of money. For good measure, we will also be inserting large quantities of toilet roll into each payout chute, that'll teach 'em!"
This crack team of button breakers have been carefully trained by a buck-toothed crackhead. The payment is said to be "a few lines worth." This person was recruited since he is widely known as the "best button breaker in the country" who takes pride in "his work".
"Hopefully this will be a lesson to the arrogant culprits... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" said the anonymous group representative I spoke to.
I cannot divulge such information as to who has actually funded this run of destruction however I can say that various sources claim that the sponsor is closely related to a certain former fruitchat MEGA VILLAIN and violence loving ELECTROCOINIST!
It is not known whether he is actually with one of the 5 teams but he is said to be "angry" that people are being "Arrogant" towards his "mates".
I have no links to this group, I am merely reporting. I am also powerless to negotiate with them. I'm sure soon enough people will see that this is a true story due to the amount of broken buttons which will be "discovered" in due course. It is not known whether John32 is linked to this new group but it is quite likely since the whole country works for him - including me, though I don't know how!
Please vote in the poll attached to this post.
According to a spokesman, 5 teams of semi-pros have been sent out on a mission to disable various buttons on various "Deals" scattered across the nation. These people are not even out on a "run" as it were, simply to SEEK AND DESTROY...
A source says, "This is due to the arrogance of various "pros" who have grown heads bigger than their entire bodies. They show no respect, no courtesy, they are just totally in love with themselves! We are going to make sure we cost them a lot of money. For good measure, we will also be inserting large quantities of toilet roll into each payout chute, that'll teach 'em!"
This crack team of button breakers have been carefully trained by a buck-toothed crackhead. The payment is said to be "a few lines worth." This person was recruited since he is widely known as the "best button breaker in the country" who takes pride in "his work".
"Hopefully this will be a lesson to the arrogant culprits... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" said the anonymous group representative I spoke to.
I cannot divulge such information as to who has actually funded this run of destruction however I can say that various sources claim that the sponsor is closely related to a certain former fruitchat MEGA VILLAIN and violence loving ELECTROCOINIST!
It is not known whether he is actually with one of the 5 teams but he is said to be "angry" that people are being "Arrogant" towards his "mates".
I have no links to this group, I am merely reporting. I am also powerless to negotiate with them. I'm sure soon enough people will see that this is a true story due to the amount of broken buttons which will be "discovered" in due course. It is not known whether John32 is linked to this new group but it is quite likely since the whole country works for him - including me, though I don't know how!
Please vote in the poll attached to this post.