Fruit Machine Chat

OK bearing in mind I barely know this couple - known them for a few months via a poker league that I play in. Prefectly nice ppl etc.

Any got a text after poker last night saying (and I'll just quote it straight from the text):

Fuck it seems to have deleted itself or I've done it by accident as it was late but the jist was:

Can you take John out to a machine and try and win him something as we are a bit skint. No prob if not no hard feelings.

Now I wouldn't text a mate who does cash in hand if I could do a day instead of him as I'm skint...

What do I reply to that? And I can guess hypothetically we would be using my money obviously.

Unbelievable talk about putting me on the spot....

To be honest, if you play machines at least to a semi-pro level, I'm frankly amazed this situation hasn't happened to you earlier.

Just make a joke out of the request, saying well I could just make the money for myself couldn't I, or something like well I may as well just take the money out of my wallet and give it to you...or you wouldn't give me your hours at work, so why would I give you mine??

If I had a pound for every time I had this, especially when I first started playing, I'd be pretty rich...

That's just not on really, however they've tried to 'make it sound OK'...

Probably the best thing is to not reply and then either; deny knowledge of the text / not bother with them again. Why were they playing Poker if they were skint anyway!?

2 words




NO DEAL.

This shit always happens to me, people know you make money so they want to come out with you.. people say to me do you fancy playing some machines round town tomoz.. that might aswell just ask you for a cash sum, just tell them no.

id reply your skint so if they front the money you will only take half the profit as they are supplyin the cash and your supplyin the knowlage so its fair. thats what ive said to people who have asked me b4, that way they usually back out because they int gettin it for free and they cant argue with what your sayin and also you KNOW if you go out playin with there money every machine will be a b*****d and just not do what it should so if they do front the money just say your already out with another m8, that way no hard feelings and no arguments with em

simples

It's not really happened before as my mates know the score and I buy most of the beers and sort them out anyway.

Also I send my housemate into places I'm barred from so he's happy.

I Just replied saying it's not as simple as that and over the course of a week I do well but it's not a case of just nippin to a machine and making £40. Still can't believe she asked....

I get people asking me it all the time too. Younger brother sometimes says to me 'if i give you some money, can you win me some?'

Well no, because i'd rather win it for myself, and your getting money for nothing then! :x

strange.......couldve swarn u told me your step brother used 2 do ely???????

I only play to quatro-pro standard, a very low and frankly appalling standard of play. I can prove this as my returns on Indiana Jones machines for this week are much lower than yours Matt. This week I put in £46 for £70 and that is it. You may be forgiven for thinking I'm at octo-pro standard, to be fair I probably am.
I'm currently taking my semi-pro exams at the end of this year, there's another lad in the class called Triton who is doing a phD into emptiers and methods for It's Your Show.
I know a few full time pros, hyper pros and micro top boys, all of which are currently on road trips.
I know one person from the Industry and a few others via this board.
On the flip side I met someone in town who was just playing Casino 5 Liners, he introduced him self as a do-D'oh'-decaohedral-pro.

Since they've reclassified the Baawpcops (British approved amusement with prizes classification of player's standard) everyone is a pro.

It goes.

0) Micro-pro = Knows where the local Weatherspoons is
1) Milli-pro = Often spends beer change in machine, often legless
2) Centi-pro = Sells the Power 5 emptier on Ebay
3) Hecto-pro = A non player called Hector
4) do-D'oh-decahedral pro - Likes playing out Casino 5 Liners
5) Octo-pro = Knows a little bit by using cheat Apps on their i-phone, may have up to eight arms, so can collect money very fast.
6) Quattro formaggio pro = Mozarella, buffalo hick, monterey jack and cheddar provide a melt in the mouth winning streak
7) Semi-pro = Wins half as much as a pro, may be missing a leg.
Pro = Knows all the marks on the boxes of a Pacman and knows cheat Apps for Pots of Gold
9) Mega pro = As pro, but has as collection of prosthetics in a drawer to avoid barrings
10) Micro top boys = People under 5'4" who make over 100k a year on AWP
11) Hyper pro - Gets excitable on the third orange squash
12) Top boy pro - One step away from the Industry
13) Super duper top boy pro - One step beyond
14) Mr. X pro - Knows all the emptiers for machines that haven't even been made. For example, there's an emptier for £100 jackpot video Flashback released JUL 2011

LMAO.... your posts are worth the dongle top up alone

pickareel wrote:strange.......couldve swarn u told me your step brother used 2 do ely???????

He does, and did on saturday! I'm on about my actual brother here, who has zero interest in fruits!

Brilliant JG favourites were definatley 0 7 10

Yes, if you can't have a laugh, what is the point of life?

I liked number 6, it didn't make me laugh but it'd be sure as hell tasty, just add some jalepenos, spicy meatballs, peppers, hot flamin' chicken. Mmmmm, tasty.....anyone for a midnight snack?